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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646779">Nicolò Patrol</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherN/pseuds/HeatherN'>HeatherN</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>If Found [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doom Patrol (TV), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amputation, Bureau of Normalcy, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Crossover, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Innuendo, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Overcoming Internalized Homophobia, Rescue Missions, Some Explicit Language, Twine Fic, sexual joke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:21:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646779</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherN/pseuds/HeatherN</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Two groups of immortals meet to rescue one of their own.</p>
<p>Help can come in strange packages.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>If Found [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Plan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is really best read as a Twine story (with sound and video cues). Click this link to read Chapter 1: <a href="https://textadventures.co.uk/games/play/nlozldf6e0yavnclegjrwg">https://textadventures.co.uk/games/play/nlozldf6e0yavnclegjrwg</a></p><p>Please let me know if anything in the fic isn't working.</p><p>If you'd rather just read the text without the sound cues and animations, I included a transcript below.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joe didn't usually listen to music alone. Music was something experienced with other people. It should be communal; it should be participatory. Ideally both at the same time. But right now, as he sat in the back of the car, Joe needed something to separate himself from everyone else. So he had his headphones on and he looked out the window at the passing landscape.<br/>
<br/>
Joe, Nile, Andy and Booker were driving through rural Ohio on their way to someplace called Doom Manor. Copley had assured them that the residents there would be able to help them locate Nicky. Over the past few months he'd grown to trust Copley. Or, at least, Joe trusted Andy to manage Copley as necessary.<br/>
<br/>
Booker was another matter entirely. His betrayal hurt. Deeply. Deeply enough that Joe still couldn't bring himself to forgive Booker. He still couldn't believe that Andy had asked Booker to help find Nicky. Joe turned his attention to the back of Booker's head, staring daggers, and took in a deep breath. He'd already had it out with Booker at Copley's house. At this point overt hostility would be counterproductive. Still, Booker was supposed to have been exiled for a century. It hadn't even been a year.<br/>
<br/>
Joe was not at all convinced that Booker hadn't been part of the plot to capture Nicky. <em>Maybe that's why Andy wanted him nearby. Keep your enemies close.</em><br/>
<br/>
Joe let out a sigh.<br/>
<br/>
<em>Enough sulking.</em></p><p>Joe took off his headphones as Booker pulled the car up to a large building with faux-Greek pillars and a long brick pathway out front. Joe got out of the car and tried to ignore the conversation Booker and Nile were having.<br/>
<br/>
"Sacré Dieu!" Booker exclaimed. "Copley wasn't kidding when he called this a 'manor.'"<br/>
<br/>
"How many people did he say lived here?" Nile asked.<br/>
<br/>
"I don't think he did."<br/>
<br/>
Just then, a man wrapped in bandages and wearing a long coat approached the car. Joe recognized him from Copley's briefing yesterday - Larry, something. "It's either 7 or 74, depending on how you count."<br/>
<br/>
"I'm sorry?" Joe asked.<br/>
<br/>
"Well, it's complicated," Larry replied.<br/>
<br/>
"Clearly."<br/>
<br/>
"Anyway, I'm Larry. I'm supposed to show you all inside."<br/>
<br/>
Andy came around to the front of the car and extended her hand to shake Larry's. "I'm Andy. This is Nile, Joe, Copley and Booker," she said indicating each as she introduced them.<br/>
<br/>
Larry politely shook everyone's hand and led everyone inside. Larry, Copley and the immortals made their way to the great room where Vic, Rita, Jane, Cliff and Niles Caulder were waiting. Introductions went quickly and Copley got down to business. "Mr. Caulder, you said you could help us track these people down."<br/>
<br/>
Larry jumped in, "The Bureau of Normalcy. Yes. We've...dealt with them before."<br/>
<br/>
"Just tell us where they are and we'll..." Joe began.<br/>
<br/>
Larry shook his head. "It's not that simple. They're a secret government organization. You don't just go barging through their door."<br/>
<br/>
"You haven't seen us barge through doors."<br/>
<br/>
"We need a plan," Vic said. "And before you ask, no we can't get my dad's help."<br/>
<br/>
Joe let that go without comment. He was here to rescue Nicky, not delve into the personal lives of this whole other group of people.<br/>
<br/>
"Anyone got any ideas?" Nile asked.<br/>
<br/>
Jane glanced in Larry's direction. "Not any good ones."</p><p>"I might have a way to infiltrate the Bureau," Larry explained. "My son was recently..."<br/>
<br/>
"Your...son? Your <em>child</em>?" Joe interrupted. He wasn't willing to get a child involved in this. It went against everything he and Nicky believed. It wouldn't be right.<br/>
<br/>
"He's actually 74 years old. It's complicated."<br/>
<br/>
Booker let out a coarse laugh, "Oh, we understand that. Or at least, <em>I</em> do."<br/>
<br/>
Joe shot Booker a look and Andy intervened, "Not helpful, Book."<br/>
<br/>
"Right, boss."<br/>
<br/>
"Anyway," Larry continued after a minute. "My son was recently contacted by the Bureau about me. He's agreed to help us by calling his handler and turn me in. Basically, I'll be bait and lead you to wherever the Bureau is keeping people."<br/>
<br/>
"Because us pretending to get captured went so well last time," Jane piped in.<br/>
<br/>
"This time we have the help of real life heroes," Rita said. "<em>This</em> time only one of us is being used as bait."<br/>
<br/>
"Plus, we fucked them up last time," Cliff said. "Remember the butts? I remember the butts."<br/>
<br/>
Andy swept her hand in front of her, as if to clear the room of their distractions. "If this is a covert government agency, I doubt it will be as simple as tailing them as they take Larry away."<br/>
<br/>
"True, but we may know someone who can help with that," Niles Caulder said.<br/>
<br/>
Joe wasn't entirely sure about adding yet more strangers into this rescue mission. He'd rather go in with just the usual team. Quick and quiet, like always. But, then, he supposed that if it were 'like always,' Nicky would be with him.<br/>
<br/>
Joe took a deep breath and shook his head. <em>Guess this situation requires something unusual.</em> So these strangers would help them find Nicky. Then there would be a reckoning for the people who took him.<br/>
<br/>
The sound of Andy's voice brought Joe out of his brooding.<br/>
<br/>
"Who?"</p><p>Before anyone could answer, Joe heard familiar music coming from outside. "Is that..?"<br/>
<br/>
Niles Caulder grinned. "Right on time. We'll need to go outside for introductions."<br/>
<br/>
Joe made his way over to Andy as the rest of the group walked into to the foyer. "This all better get Nicky back, boss."<br/>
<br/>
"Agreed," she said as she looked over at Copley. These were his contacts; they had better pan out.<br/>
<br/>
As Joe made his way to the front door, one of the others opened it and the music <span class="macro-replace-insert">stopped.<br/>
<br/>
"Greetings, Danny!" Rita said. "You're looking lovely."<br/>
<br/>
A colorful 1970 VW van had pulled up into the driveway. Joe looked at Nile, who shrugged. Neither of them had any idea what to make of this.<br/>
<br/>
After a moment, the passenger side door opened and a tall, muscular man wearing leopard-print hotpants got out. Joe stared at him for a moment. Nicky was the love of his life and after a thousand years he'd really seen it all before, but even still Joe could appreciate a strong physique.<br/>
<br/>
"Hello, Danny." Joe said while extending his hand to the man standing in front of him.<br/>
<br/>
The man stuck out his hand and shook Joe's. "Oh, you're mistaken, friend. I'm Flex Mentallo, Man of Muscle Mystery." Flex pointed to the van, "That's Danny."<br/>
<br/>
Joe looked at the van and was surprised to see words appear on the side of the sliding door.</span></p><p>
  
</p><p>Joe had seen a lot in the millenium he and Nicky had been on this earth. Nothing quite prepared him for his experiences today. Meeting a robot man and a cyborg had been shocking enough. But now, a sentient car was almost too much. Joe was well and thoroughly astonished. Yet, he seemed to have ventured far enough into the absurd to break through some of his melancholy. He was temporarily distracted from his anger about the past and his concern about the future. He cracked a smile.<br/>
<br/>
"This is wild," Nile said. "I thought being immortal was strange enough. But this car can talk, man!"<br/>
<br/>
"They're, like, sentient, man," Jane replied.<br/>
<br/>
Joe made the decision to greet Danny directly. He might as well roll with it. "Bona to vada your dolly old eek." <span class="macro-replace-insert">He tipped his hat to Danny and winked at Flex.</span></p><p>
  
</p><p>Joe was unsure how Danny already knew about Nicky. <em>Perhaps Niles Caulder had briefed them?</em> Regardless, their optimism was infectious. "Inshallah," he replied. "We'll rescue him."<br/>
<br/>
And after Nicky was freed, he and Joe would have to come back and spend more time with Danny and Flex. Joe smiled. <em>Nicky will love these people.</em><br/>
<br/>
Andy turned to Copley and Niles Caulder, again cutting through all the distraction. "But how exactly are they going to help?"<br/>
<br/>
Niles Caulder broadly explained the rest of the plan. "Flex, here, can communicate with the Negative Spirit that lives in Larry. Danny isn't only sentient, they can teleport. Between the two of them, I'm sure we'll be able to track Larry to wherever they take him."<br/>
<br/>
At this point, Joe was willing to go along with whatever new weirdness came his way. He was already taking a lot on faith. Joe smiled again. <em>Of course the plan to rescue Nicky would require a leap of faith.</em><br/>
<br/>
Joe looked at Niles Caulder. "So when's the earliest you'll all be ready?"<br/>
<br/>
"Tomorrow morning."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Brief Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yusuf al-Kaysani (Joe) and Larry Trainor share a moment.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the details of the rescue plan had been hashed out, there was nothing to do but wait. Joe couldn’t bring himself to meet back up with Andy or Nile. He was still processing the fact that Booker had come back. Joe wasn’t one to hold a grudge, but this was something he couldn’t let go.</p><p>As Danny teleported elsewhere and everyone else made their way back into the manor, Joe noticed that Larry, the man with the bandages, also stayed back. He was happy to stand in silence, giving them both the opportunity to mull over their own thoughts. However, it quickly became clear that Larry was approaching him to start a conversation.</p><p>Larry walked up to Joe and awkwardly stood next to him, shifting his weight from foot to foot. </p><p>“Larry, right?” Joe was pretty sure he remembered most of the group’s names, but the question provided a way to break the uncomfortable silence.</p><p>“Yeah.” A bit of tension eased from Larry’s shoulders. “And you’re Joe.”</p><p>“Yusuf ibn Ibrahim ibn Muhammad ibn al-Kaysani, actually. But Joe’s fine.”</p><p>“Right,” Larry replied.</p><p>There were a few more awkward moments of silence. “I want to thank you for what you’re doing for Nicky. You’re taking a big risk.”</p><p>“I...from what Niles had said, it sounds like you two are...close. Plus, I can’t let the Bureau ruin anyone else's life.” Larry paused and then switched the subject. “I was curious about that language you were speaking with Danny earlier?”</p><p>Joe was surprised by the changed conversation. “Polari. You’ve heard it before?” </p><p>“Sort of. I thought it was English slang?”</p><p>“It is and it isn’t. Queer men in England used it to remain safe and hidden in the 20th century. We all picked it up during the war.” Joe let the explanation hang in the air. It’d been awhile since he had been asked to engage in this sort of subtle decoding and double-meaning, but he recognized what it probably meant.</p><p>Larry unsuccessfully started to reply a few times before finally settling on, “So, you’re...gay?”</p><p>Joe smiled. <em>Maybe this wasn’t as big a change in subject as he had thought.</em> “Nicky would say what we call ourselves is almost irrelevant. He and I were destined to be together, simple as that. We’re kindred souls who bring each other overwhelming joy and love and passion.”</p><p>“And what would you say?”</p><p>“I’d agree. After a thousand years of constantly changing cultural mores, I highly doubt whether anyone is actually straight. Given enough time, everyone would eventually realize their soulmate, or soulmates, might be of any gender.”</p><p>Even through the bandages, Larry appeared shocked, though not at Joe’s theory. “You’ve been alive for a thousand years? You’ve had to deal with...for a thousand years of…”</p><p>Joe shook his head as he realized what Larry had assumed. “Not really. Not like you’d think. When Nicky and I first fell for each other, the fact that he had invaded my country was a bigger barrier than the fact that we are both men. In the Maghreb, we actually revered intimacy between men, even physical intimacy - although certain configurations for anal sex were controversial.” </p><p>Larry sputtered at the casual way that Joe brought up sex. Joe ignored it and continued on. “Really. Men could walk down the street arm-in-arm and display their affection in public. They formed close bonds with each other and wrote each other love letters. Poets immortalized the eroticism of their relationships. At least, that was true for my community. The Catholic invaders were far more preoccupied with chastity, particularly for priests like Nicolò.”</p><p>Larry was having trouble comprehending everything that Joe was saying. He’d had no idea the struggle he’d faced for being gay had been different in the past. There was one thing he could think to ask. “Nicky’s a priest?!”</p><p>Joe winked. “He <em>was</em> a priest.” The joke didn’t elicit the laugh Joe had been going for, but it broke some of the tension Larry was clearly experiencing. Joe considered elaborating, but he doubted Larry wanted to hear about Pope Gregory VII and the formalization of the celibacy rule.</p><p>Joe wished Nicky were there. He could imagine Nicky knowing exactly what to say - something that invited Larry to open up about whatever was bothering him.</p><p>There was a long pause and when Larry didn’t say anything, Joe decided he’d just have to have the conversation his way and be candid. “Larry, something tells me you didn’t come to me for a history lesson.”</p><p>Larry fidgeted with his hands. “I suppose I wanted to commiserate. And ask you how you dealt with all the bullshit without becoming selfish pricks. Unless, of course, you are selfish pricks.”</p><p>Joe thought about it for a minute. “Well, we certainly experienced the bullshit. We had to adapt. And I can’t speak for myself, but Nicky is one of the kindest, most generous people I know. So I think we avoided becoming too prickish. We were lucky that we found each other before the serious crackdown against people like us started. We’ve always had each other.” Saying it out loud brought tears to Joe’s eyes. <em>They always had each other, except for right now.</em> Joe felt Nicky’s absence deeply, but he also knew he couldn’t get too wrapped up in his emotions the night before the mission to save him. He decided to change the subject. “How about you?”</p><p>“<em>I am</em> gay. And it took me a long time to really accept that. Before all this,” he said, indicating his bandages, I got married and had kids. And I started fucking up their lives even before my accident.”</p><p>Joe quickly did the math in his head. “This was in the 1950’s?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Larry said. “But even after the world changed, I didn’t. It was always 1961 in my head. I couldn't escape.”</p><p>“And now?”</p><p>Larry touched his chest. “The negative spirit and I are working on not being a prick.” </p><p>“You are not alone.” Joe wrapped his arm around Larry’s shoulder as they stood in silence.</p><p>This time, it was Larry who broke it. “It’s getting dark. I should go inside.”</p><p>Joe nodded. “I’ll join you.”</p><p>With that, the two men returned to the manor to wait until morning, when they would enact their plan to rescue Nicky.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. In Solitude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nicky wakes up in an unfamiliar place.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter Trigger Warnings: Amputation &amp; Death (neither are described in very much details; purposefully not gory)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nicky’s eyes shot open as his senses returned to him. A single bright light shone from the ceiling. He looked around; </span>
  <em>
    <span>Where’s Joe?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He was alone in a cell, laying on a bed. He attempted to get up, to discover that he had been strapped down. Nicky struggled against the restraints, but they didn’t budge. He closed his eyes and bowed his head forward. There were some things he could do even while strapped down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to the room opened and five people approached him. Four were carrying firearms and one a clipboard. </span>
  <em>
    <span>These must be the people who captured me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Where’s Joe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man with the clipboard spoke. “Joe’s safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not an answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the only answer you’re going to get.” The man put the clipboard down on a table near the bed. “My name is Agent John Smith,” he said as he walked over to where Nicky was restrained. Nicky saw him pull a scalpel out of a pocket. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Medical tests. Again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Then everything went black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time when Nicky awoke, his hearing returned before any of his other senses. “Remarkable,” he heard Agent Smith say. “Note that his breathing resumed before his injury was fully healed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nicky opened his eyes and could barely make out a sixth person in the room, clipboard in hand. “Whatever you’re hoping to discover, you won’t find it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Agent Smith shook his head. “You can’t know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have been captured before. They take blood and tissue samples. They never figure out how to replicate our immortality.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Note the time when he fully healed,” Smith told the person with the clipboard. Without another word, he raised a sword and stabbed Nicky through the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nicky came-to with a familiar pain in his chest. He took a deep breath and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the light. “This won’t give you what you’re looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You misunderstand. We aren’t trying to replicate immortality. We’re simply trying to understand it.” With that, Smith indicated to one of the people with firearms and they immediately shot Nicky through the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Nicky revived this time, the four people with firearms were gone. Agent Smith was dictating notes to one other person in the room. Smith turned toward Nicky. “He’s revived.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nicky didn’t even have time to speak before Smith came at him with a medical saw. His left arm was suddenly shooting with pain as Agent Smith attempted to amputate it at the elbow. Nicky screamed; Smith continued with his task.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Record everything,” Agent Smith said once he’d finished. “Notify me in an hour, or once it’s healed. Whichever is first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Agent Smith left the room, the other person in the room set down the clipboard and moved to bring cleaning supplies over to where Nicky was still strapped down. They dipped a sponge in a bucket and got to work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nicky wasn’t worried about his arm. He knew it would mend, one way or the other. He was worried about Joe, though. John Smith had said that Joe was ‘safe,’ but that was hardly reassuring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nicky hadn’t made any progress attempting to talk to Smith, but he could try again with this person. “Why do you do this?” Nicky asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person ignored him as they went about their work. Nicky tried again, “What is your name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alex,”  they said without pausing as they completed their task.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d prefer we were meeting in better circumstances, Alex.”</span>
  <span>Alex didn’t say anything, but Nicky saw the smallest smile threaten to poke through their neutral expression. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a start</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Continuity for Doom Patrol is not entirely aligned with canon. Most of the characters are basically where they were right around "Sex Patrol." However, I have decided to include some events from episodes after "Sex Patrol" in my timeline. Continuity for The Old Guard is basically within that 6 month period after Booker's been exiled, but before Quynh finds him.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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